On August 2, 2016 the Rio Olympics gave us a gift—the perfect metaphor for the intersection of absurdity and danger—a kayaker capsized after hitting a rogue sofa in Guanabara Bay. Apparently, although highly skilled and highly trained, this particular kayaker had no knowledge or training for what he should do should he encounter submerged furniture during a race. And what about scoring? Does the kayaker who doesn’t encounter a couch have an advantage? And what if it’s really a daybed that has been misrepresented in the media?